If you have ever been around an individual that made you feel uncomfortable, then you can only imagine what it must be like to share an intimate relationship with someone who makes you feel uneasy. I am talking about stressful relationships that you may not even recognize to be stressful. People often believe in the thought process behind stress in their relationships, but it is important to examine if it is the more common stress of a relationship rather then being in a stressful relationship.
Many would ask themselves how they could be in a stressful relationship with someone that they love, but there are so many people who unknowingly are in relationships that cause them continual stress. From the attributes of control, aggression or simply the lack of predictability all of these behavioral patterns help to contribute to the feeling of discomfort or uneasiness in a stressful relationship. After awhile a person can build up a level of tolerance for bad behaviors.
Tolerance is okay for some things within a relationship, however when it comes to a point where tolerance begins to overtake the relationship then it is time for a reevaluation of the relationship terms. When reevaluating a relationship, there must be a willingness to make changes within the self first. A person should not wait around with the hopes that the selfish or controlling partner will serve as the beacon of change. Understand that making changes will be difficult for those who are accustom to being controlling and selfish.
Are you experiencing the normal stress of a relationship or are you in a stressful relationship?
Here are a few things to consider.
- (a) Are you always on edge when your partner is around or (b) do you more often feel at ease or relaxed?
- (a) Do you feel that more often things are based on what your partner wants to do or (b) do you do things that you enjoy?
- (a) Do you feel that you are following the lead of your partner or (b) do you feel that you are in control of your own life?
- (a) Do you feel that you are always questioned about your decisions or (b) are your decisions often good enough?
- (a) Do you feel trapped in a repetitive cycle in your relationship or (b) is your relationship growing and advancing.
If you relate more with the (a) statements than you are in a stressful relationship and the (b) statements mean that you are dealing with more common stress related to being in a relationship.
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